The Quality of Our Time

On a recent vacation I was surprised to see how many couples and families were together on the cruise, but not really.

There was a young mother and her daughter in line behind me. The mother explained to me that she and her 13 year old don’t get to spend much time together so she was looking forward to the cruise as an opportunity to rebuild the bonds with this teen. The goal was admirable, but in the midst of our conversation she, several times actually, checked and in fact responded to text messages that were being sent to her phone. Her daughter waited patiently by her side with a bored look on her face, while her mother interacted with me somewhat, and with her phone a lot. Later on I had the opportunity to observe them on the cruise. The daughter had the same look on her face while the mother, though phone less (no doubt due to being in international waters) looked loss as to what she should do with her sullen teen.

A middle aged couple that was on line also appeared to be having problems leaving their busy work lives behind. As we waited for close to an hour to board the ship I and several others on the line were forced to listen to the woman argue rather loudly with what we could only assume was a work colleague, while her spouse stood by her side waiting for her attention. A brief pause in the hostile discussion on the phone brought her attention to her partner. At which point she regaled him with her frustration at dealing with this underling and other assorted opinions regarding the conflict she was attempting to solve, on the phone, on vacation. His expression, like the teens, was also telling. My friend, who was vacationing with me, and was aware of the line soap opera, described his expression as “disgusted”.

When planning for this cruise, I envisioned a lot of down time and suggested to my husband that I would take a book and perhaps my laptop to do some writing while onboard. He promptly nixed the idea of the laptop, but conceded that the book idea was good. He wanted me to concentrate on spending the time with my friends, who were the reason for the trip. Such good advice!

It occurs to me that our times of connection with God are no different than the interaction I observed in the two families above. Even when we set aside time to attend to spiritual matters (i.e. attend church, do a quiet time, pray, meditate) we fall into the trap of bringing the business of our daily lives along with us and miss the joy and purpose of spending quality time with God.

We need to be cautious and not bring things that keep us connected to our temporal space, into our sacred space. Television, radio, computers, telephones, all keep us grounded to the here and now, and prevent us from achieving that feeling of transcendence that is available to us in God’s presence. Who hasn’t written out their grocery list while the sermon droned on at church, or abruptly ended a prayer or bible reading because the phone rang and it could be important. We forget that we are engaged in something important, the building and strengthening of our relationship with God.

That mother took time away from work, other family and friends to spend time with her daughter. Yet she spent a lot of time with others on the phone. I assume that the couple also took time away to be with each other, yet she stayed focused on work issues. If we make the time to tend to our spiritual needs, as we should, then we need to be vigilant to make that time quality time.